The Real Story on Finding Your Soul Mate….
An excerpt from my latest book, “The Heart of Love”
by Dr. John Demartini

I made you take time to look at what I saw, and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower, and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see - and I don’t.
                                                                                                               Georgia O’Keeffe

Dear Friends,

"Be yourself." Your mother, and anyone else who’s ever counseled you on love, has probably told you this. It’s straightforward advice that most people take as useless, empty flattery, as in “You’re great just the way you are, so anyone who doesn’t recognize that is a fool . . .” Yeah, okay. Thanks, Mom.

Until you’re ready to look much, much deeper, such advice can seem impractical: Be myself? What does that mean? Don’t wear makeup? Belch at the table? Tell someone all about my last crummy relationship and yawn when they say something I find boring? I don’t think so.

All right, I get it. You want to put your “best” foot forward when you’re meeting people and developing relationships. Great. And once you’re in a relationship, there are still some social conventions you might agree to continue to observe. But let’s dive below the surface here. If you truly would love to “find” and create a relationship with a soul mate, and not just have a few dates (or a few decades of wedded mediocrity), you’re wise to start with yourself.

That means acknowledging what you’ve read throughout this book, and what you’ve experienced, too, if you completed the exercises from the previous chapters: There’s nothing missing from your life. You encompass all things, and so does everyone else. You’re a microcosm of the infinite, expressing this limitless potentiality in a particular human, finite form directed by your unique set of values. You’re kind and cruel, generous and greedy, boring and exciting, one and the other for as far as the mind can reach.

If you’re single and would love to be in a relationship with that “special one,” you might find yourself reading “you’re a microcosm of the infinite” and thinking you’d prefer it if I got down to business. Why don’t I just tell you how to get the universe to cough up the man or woman of your dreams?

If you’re single and not loving it, take this as an opportunity to exercise your wisdom and patience. Remember that trying to “get” or “find” someone or something in life is futile. It’s a sign of maturity and wisdom when you prepare yourself for a loving connection by realizing the wholeness in yourself. That’s your first step, not scouting the best bars or ramming your cart into good-looking prospects at the grocery store. When you focus on yourself first, you can walk into a relationship empowered, aware of your own fullness, instead of driven by a sense of need or desperation. A soul mate isn’t someone who gives you what you lack, but instead is someone who can share your life, for whatever period of time. Together, you can explore something magical - transcendence beyond asking what’s the same and what’s different into the realm of no questions: love.

Movies and fairy tales aside, the great beauty of recognizing a soul mate in someone else is not the moment of “you complete me,” so much as “you see me.” That could be short for, You see me in my entirety, what you perceive as good and bad, and you appreciate all of it. You love me in every facet, not just the parts I think are “acceptable” to show the world, but for the complete depth and breadth of my soul.

• What are loving relationships? Ones that help you see yourself.
• Who attracts loving relationships? People who love themselves.
• Where do you find loving relationships? Within yourself.
• How do you find loving relationships? By being yourself.

When you’re being true to your heart and true to what you love, you increase the probability of attracting people who are also true to what they love. You can know the real person instead of falling for a facade, and that person can love you for who you truly are. When you come to appreciate that you and others have a balance of all human traits, actions, or inactions and that their forms are determined by the values you and they hold, then you can set reasonable expectations on yourself and others, which is essential to initiating true and loving relationships.

We all want to be loved for who we really are.

Love and Wisdom,
John

The Heart of Love - How to Go Beyond Fantasy to Find True Relationship Fulfillment **NEW** PB $15 The Heart of Love gives step-by-step instructions for linking what's important to you with another person's values so that both of you can feel loved for who you are - not someone else's idea of who you "should" be. It also explores sexual dynamics and the experience of grief that can come with death, divorce and other potentially painful relationship "endings". Dr. Demartini invites you into the heart of love, which transforms any relationship into one of gratitude and true fulfillment. (1 Paperback)

Order Online at: www.drdemartini.com Office: 888/336-2784 Email: sales@drdemartini.com

P.S. If you would love to help inspire others, be sure to forward this newsletter to the ones you love.

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2005. All Rights Reserved. Dr. John F. Demartini.