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An excerpt from “You Can Have an Amazing Life in 60 Days”
By Dr. John Demartini
The Law of Truth
How can I use the Law of Truth today to fulfill my life’s purpose, dreams, and objectives?
Dear Friends,
So many common assumptions are just unfounded fantasies! I’m amazed at the number of things people believe that are patently false, such as I’m supposed to be happy all the time. I shouldn’t have any sadness. I’m supposed to be praised all the time and never criticized. Many people have these childhood fantasies that they’re supposed to be in this never-never land of happy, happy—perfect all the time.
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Dr. Demartini’s
July 2 |
Giving this some honest consideration, you can see how foolish they really are. But most people don’t give them any real scrutiny; instead, they just go blithely along with these crazy expectations. But no one lives a life like that. The truth is that everyone has happiness, and everyone has sadness. All people have niceness and meanness, pleasant and unpleasant—people have two sides.
If you deny this basic truth, you set yourself up for big crashes and disappointments, as well as for depression and feeling like a failure. In fact, I say that the cause of a broken heart is actually a broken myth or fantasy: Someone expects other people to be a certain way that they cannot be, wanting them to be one-sided beings. I like to think of these unwise, one-sided expectations in terms of relating to a magnet. Imagine trying to get a one-sided magnet. If you cut a magnet in half and again in half, you’ll never get just a positive side. There’s always a positive and a negative side, no matter how many times you divide the magnet
People are magnetic. You try to get one-sided experiences out of them, and they give you two. Likewise, if you try to get a narrow experience out of life, you’ll always get the whole anyway. Going through life and expecting what isn’t possible, and then getting frustrated when it does not happen, and trying to change everything to get to a one-sided experience will be futile. This is a way to frustrate and depress yourself and continually beat yourself up because you can’t do what can’t be done.
When I work with people who’re depressed, I find that their depression is rooted in the fact that what they think is possible isn’t. They are comparing what is to what isn’t, and beating themselves up because they think it is their fault that it isn’t that way. As the Buddha said, the desire for that which is not attainable is the source of human suffering. People are quite often comparing what is to something that isn’t possible. Then they put themselves down because they cannot match this false idea, and they blame themselves because they cannot do the impossible. Or they chastise others when they can’t do it, either.
Dissolve the fantasies, and open yourself to the truth, which has two sides. Embrace both. You require support and challenge, positive and negative, cooperation and conflict. You need all of these to have fulfillment in life. I encourage you to consider no longer berating yourself or others because you and they cannot live one-sided lives, and to begin being grateful that both sides of life enable us to grow in love.
The truth is that I have both positive and negative traits,
and both are worth loving.
I embrace both sides of myself.
Love and Wisdom,
John
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