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An Excerpt from my latest book, Heart of Love
Once Upon a Time, There Were Ten Relationship Myths
Dear Friends,
Every soul sings the song of love. You were created for love, which neither begins nor ends but simply is. Love shows no partiality and is its own reward. It can't be possessed, nor does it possess. Love withholds nothing. With love, there's no limit. Anything other than love is illusion. To understand true love is to embrace all.
In some fairy tales, though, love becomes a beast. From the time we're children, these stories and other misleading fantasies teach us what true love is "supposed" to be. Who hasn't heard about "happily ever after"? Who doesn't think it's immature and simplistic? And who hasn't come under its spell and believed, even just a little, that it signifies some truth about what love "ought" to be?
| Dr Demartini's February 1st, 2007 |
If you're like most people, you probably buy into at least one of the common cultural myths-our modern-day fairy tales-that can mislead you in your most important relationships. If you continue to believe in any of these myths, they'll interfere with your life, like some nasty old witch with a magic mirror and poisoned apple. They'll shape your expectations and make you feel as if everyone else gets the fairy tale but you. You'll be living in a monstrous falsehood, "suffering" from it, feeling and acting as if all this were true when it doesn't have to be that way for you.
President John F. Kennedy once pointed out, "The great enemy of truth is very often not the lie-deliberate, contrived, and dishonest-but the myth-persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic." He went on to say that the way out of the woods is to stop enjoying "the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." Are you willing to shine light into the dark corners of your mind and confront myths head-on? If so, you'll get to step out of unfulfilling fantasy and into something far more inspiring: true life, true relationships, true love.
Perhaps you don't think you're caught up in any false ideas. Please take a moment to consider whether you agree with any of the following statements:
1. A (new) relationship will make me happy.
2. When I find my soul mate, I'll feel complete.
3. The right relationship will last forever.
4. Once we get past these rough waters, it'll be smooth sailing.
5. A good relationship requires sacrifice.
6. Great sex happens only at the beginning of a relationship.
7. In the right relationship, I won't have to work at it.
8. If I'm not involved with someone, I'll be lonely.
9. Children complete a marriage.
10. Opposites attract.
Believe it or not, every one of these statements contains a fantasy, a falsehood. In my book, I'll help you see how buying into these childish ideas stunts your personal growth and keeps you from fully experiencing the riches every relationship has to offer.
If only we'd stop trying to be happy, we could have a pretty good time.
--Edith Wharton
Love and gratitude,
Dr. John F. Demartini.
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The Heart of Love - How to Go Beyond Fantasy to Find True Relationship Fulfillment **NEW** PB $15 The Heart of Love gives step-by-step instructions for linking what's important to you with another person's values so that both of you can feel loved for who you are - not someone else's idea of who you "should" be. It also explores sexual dynamics and the experience of grief that can come with death, divorce and other potentially painful relationship "endings". Dr. Demartini invites you into the heart of love, which transforms any relationship into one of gratitude and true fulfillment.
(1 Paperback)
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P.S. If you would love to help inspire others, be sure to forward this newsletter to the ones you love.
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2005. All Rights Reserved. Dr. John F. Demartini.